Adventures with Wildlife

So the really funny part about this is that just the night before, Himself was saying we were lucky we’d never caught a skunk.

We have a bit of a squirrel issue, you see.  The same birdseed which attracts that pesky flock of turkeys and more than fifty other species of birds to our yard is also an irresistable draw for red and gray squirrels, which are cute for a few minutes until they empty the feeders, at which point they become annoying.  Then the red ones get into the walls and ceilings of the house, which is super annoying.  

So a few years ago we put out a couple of live traps and began an annual Squirrel Relocation Program wherein we capture the squirrels from our yard and set them free in our friends’ yards in Camden.

(Just kidding.) 

This has been a fairly successful undertaking, so as soon as enough snow melted we put out the traps for the season and that’s when Himself said what he did about skunks.  Which was, as I mentioned, the funny part.

Ha ha ha.

We discovered our skunk at 5.30 on Thursday morning.  Thursday being the day I leave the house at 6.30 a.m. and return at 7.30 p.m.  The skunk was, therefore, Himself’s problem.

Himself used the Google and learned that it is theoretically possible to transport and release a live skunk without triggering its defense mechanism:

• First, one needs to sneak up to the trap and cover it up with something opaque which one doesn’t mind possibly having to throw away.  The theory is, if the skunk can’t see anything, it will not become alarmed.  
• I cannot help but be reminded vaguely of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.  

• Next one should carefully and gently place the covered trap in one’s vehicle and carefully and gently drive to the release site.
• This is where Himself ran into a leetle bit of trouble.  A noisy, bouncy ride in the back of a pickup truck – I have recently remarked upon this spring’s epic frost heaves and potholes – was clearly not to our skunk’s liking.

• Once at the release site, one should carefully and gently place the covered trap on the ground, and – standing quietly and as still as possible – slowly open the door, whereupon the skunk will eventually (they are shy and retiring creatures by nature) amble out, blink a few times in the sunlight, snuffle about briefly and then toddle off to live happily ever after.  
• Our skunk was not shy and retiring at this point, and the capacity to stand still and quietly while a pissed-off skunk erupts from a live trap is not, we find, something my husband possesses.  

I would give anything to have had pictures of this.

Anyhoo, aside from a slight lingering odor in the truck, no lasting effects were suffered.  The skunk is, I trust, enjoying its new digs over on Bald Mountain.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming….

Spring?

Maybe... this could be it...

Repurposing Leftovers: Salmon Pie with Biscuit Crust

This is something like a dish my mother made when I was a kid.  Only better.  No offense, Ma.

It’s built on the biscuit-topped pot pie model and any biscuit recipe will work – Bisquick is fine, or even refrigerator biscuits, though you may need to adjust the baking time.  If you use a rolled biscuit recipe, you can cut out nice neat little biscuit shapes and lay them on top of the casserole, or pat the whole batch of dough into the shape of your baking dish and lay it on top in one big sheet.  I prefer drop biscuits because 1) I’m lazy and 2) the drop biscuit recipe from the November/December 2007 issue of Cook’s Illustrated is simply the best in the world.

 

I used leftover salmon, but canned works just fine.

Salmon Pie with Biscuit Crust                                     

1 medium onion, diced

1 tablespoon minced garlic

1 stalk celery, sliced

2 cloves garlic, minced

6 tablespoons butter

¼ cup flour

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (or to taste)

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 ½ cups milk

2 cups (more or less) cooked, flaked salmon fillets (or 1 15-oz can salmon, drained, skin & bone removed, flaked)
1 4-oz can mushrooms, drained and roughly chopped

1 ½ cups frozen peas

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 tablespoon parsley flakes

Salt & pepper to taste

1 batch biscuit dough*

 

Preheat oven to 425. 

In large skillet over medium heat, melt butter and sauté onion, garlic and celery until tender.  Reduce heat to low; stir in flour and cayenne and cook, stirring, until combined and thickened.  Slowly add cream of mushroom soup and milk, stirring until well blended.  Add salmon, mushrooms, frozen peas and lemon juice; season to taste.  Transfer mixture to ungreased 13x9 baking dish. 

Top casserole with prepared biscuit dough.  Bake for 20-25 minutes until biscuits are golden brown and filling is bubbly.  Brush biscuits with melted butter, if desired, before serving.

Serves 6 normal people or 4 in this household.

*Best Drop Biscuits (adapted from Cook’s Illustrated, November/December 2007)

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon sugar

¾ teaspoon table salt

1 cup cold buttermilk

8 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly (about 5 minutes)

2 tablespoons melted butter for brushing biscuits

Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar and salt in large bowl.  Combine buttermilk and 8 tablespoons melted butter in a 2-cup measuring cup, stirring until butter forms small clumps.

Add buttermilk mixture to dry ingredients and stir until just incorporated and batter pulls away from the sides of the bowl.  Drop by scant ¼-cup spoonfuls on top of casserole.

New England Boiled Dinner

I don’t know why this turned out so well, such a basic dish we’ve made a gajillion times, but something really clicked with how it came together this weekend.    

It doesn't get much more traditional than this - although I must send apologies up to my hardscrabble Yankee forebears who wouldn't know a juniper berry from Adam's off ox.  Let not thy heart be troubled by the amount of horseradish, for it melloweth over the long cooking time.

New England Boiled Dinner

1 3-lb boneless chuck roast, rolled and tied

1 tablespoon minced garlic

2 tablespoons prepared horseradish

6 juniper berries

1 large bay leaf

½ teaspoon dried rosemary

6 medium red potatoes, cut in eighths

4 carrots, peeled and cut into 1 ½” chunks

4 yellow onions, peeled & quartered

1-2 tablespoons beef base or bouillon

4 tablespoons flour combined with 6 tablespoons cold water (approximately)

Salt & pepper to taste

Place the roast in a Dutch oven and add water to come about halfway up the sides of the roast.  Add the garlic, horseradish, juniper berries, bay leaves and rosemary.  Cover and simmer over low heat, turning the roast once or twice to keep the top from drying out, until meat is tender, about two hours.

Add the potatoes, carrots and onions, tucking them down in the liquid around the sides of the roast.  Cover and simmer another 45 minutes or until the vegetables are tender.  Remove roast to a warm platter and tent with foil.  Using a slotted spoon, remove the vegetables to a warm bowl and cover to keep warm.  Pick out the bay leaf and juniper berries if you can find them; warn your dinner companions if you can’t.

Increase heat to high.  Stir beef base into broth – start with the smaller amount and taste as you go – and bring to a boil.  Correct seasonings.  

In a small jar or covered container, shake the flour and water together until blended.  Whisk the flour mixture into the boiling broth (pour through a wire mesh strainer to catch any lumps), and continue stirring until thickened.

Slice the roast thinly and serve with the vegetables, with a generous helping of gravy over all.

6 servings

Kitchen Gadget Appreciation Day

It has come to my attention that there is no such thing as Kitchen Gadget Appreciation Day.  This, in my opinion, is a grievous omission and should be remedied immediately.

The idea came to me yesterday whilst I was rooting around my shelves for this:

(n.b.:  Much as I try to repress them, occassionally I have these culinary spasms in which my Southern half makes its presence felt.  Usually the manifestation is mild and results in something harmless like cream gravy or overcooked green beans with fatback; other times, like yesterday, it bursts forth like a demon and takes possession of all reason.  Thus did we find ourselves boiling peanuts, fashioning a dessert from a tuber, and deep-frying poultry and onions.  I'll pause now while you look up the number for child protective services and make a quick phone call.)

While I'm looking for this thing - it's a slicer specifically designed to make a fried onion blossom; it was a gift from my MIL, okay? - it occurs to me that we take far too little time to acknowledge and celebrate the kitchen gadgets in our lives.  So I hereby proclaim today, April 3, 2011, the first annual Kitchen Gadget Appreciation Day.

Please take a moment to dig out and handle your gnocchi paddles and strawberry hullers and all the other little objects lurking toward the back of your kitchen drawers.  They're special.  Though we may not use them often, they're always there when we need them.  Let them know how much they're appreciated.

Quiz

This is:

a)  midcoast Maine on April 1, 2011
b)  more than a foot of snow
c)  not a joke
d)  becoming ridiculous
e)  all of the above







(photo cred:  my colleague K)

Thought for the day

If one is walking by a co-worker's open office door and hears the words "cervix" and "pitocin," one should probably just keep walking.