This one is a little hard to explain.
We New Englanders tend to play to that stereotype of prickly independence - we neither ask for help nor receive it graciously, and we keep our neighbors at arm's length, preferring as we do to live isolated and alone on craggy rocks surrounded by crashing breakers and blinding fog, subsisting only on that which we have scratched from the earth with our own bare hands, shivering but grimly self-satisfied. It's a miracle we manage to reproduce.
I exaggerate only slightly for the purpose of illustration.
Maine's population is both aging and shrinking faster than almost anywhere else in the country. Those of us who are here and of working age are busy, and frankly, prickly independence or not, we simply don't have time interact with anyone outside our co-workers and immediate families.
So what happens when one of us gets cancer? Or ALS? When we need help and we don't have a culture of neighborliness or community to draw upon? Of course friends and family say "let me know what I can do to help" - but we don't
like to admit we need help, remember, so we say we're managing, thank you; we'll let you know if something comes up.
Along comes Jeffrey Wood, a transplant from the midwest, where they do the neighbor and community thing really well, and he was struck by this mentality of ours in general and, in particular, how isolated people can become at the end of life in such a society. In response, he founded an organization called
eHope which builds and nurtures communities of care for people with serious - usually terminal - illnesses.
Here's how it works: close friends and family form a small, intimate circle of care. The patient or her family post their needs to a private web site - meal preparation, housekeeping, companionship, transportation home repair, pet care, whatever needs to be done - and the members of the circle fill those needs and use that forum to communicate amongst themselves. Jeffrey's model allows the family and patient precious time free from the logistical burden of coordinating care.
It's pretty slick.
I know firsthand, because we established a circle for my mother (she resisted, naturally). It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. Warm fuzzies aside, if I have a shred of sanity left after the last year and a half, it's because of Jeffrey and eHope.
I can't even begin to communicate Jeffrey's mission and vision as effectively as he does; if even half of us cared as deeply for neighbors and community as he does, how much better off would we all be?
Selah.
Check out the web site:
www.ehope.nu. If it strikes a chord, please make a donation.
